I'm not sure if it was a full moon or if the hormones in my son's milk were affecting his mood (I just rented the movie Food Inc.), but my son was extra defiant this past week. Trying to get him to brush his teeth and take a bath proved to be more difficult than me not peeing a little every time I sneeze.
He's almost four so his selective listening and short attention span are quite normal. But that doesn't make it any less stressful and frustrating when I'm in the heat of the moment. Many moms are faced with some form of stress on a daily basis. What we tend to forget is it's rarely the event or situation that causes the stress, but how we choose to react and respond to it.
Here are 6 tips to help you reduce the stress in your life.
1) Resist the temptation to engage in a power struggle. When you argue back and forth with your child, they'll win every time. You have a lot more to lose then they do and they'll wear you down. Simply state your expectation, turn your back and walk away. When they see that you're no longer interested in the fight, they'll come around.
2) Pick your battles. Decide what's important in the big picture. My son wanted to wear his Crocks in the bath the other night. My first instinct was to tell him no. But I stopped myself and thought about it. Is it really that big a deal? Practice saying "yes" more often and let your children occasionally win.
3) Let go of perfectionism. I know I sound like a broken record on this one, but I still speak to many moms who suffer from this. When you decide that "the best you can" is good enough, your stress level will drop dramatically.
4) Stop being a people pleaser. This goal is as unattainable as being a perfectionist. There are too many uncontrollable variables that make this impossible to achieve. You teach people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself. So focus on making yourself happy first.
5) Let go of your past mistakes. We've all had moments in our lives we're not proud of or tend to regret. Mine came in the form of neon clothing and hair crimping in the 1980's. I would bet my left ovary that at one point in your child's life, you've said or done something in the heat of the moment that you regret. Learn from this experience. Stop holding on to the incident and berating yourself for what happened. It only creates more stress and the likelihood of repeating negative patterns.
6) Leave your worries behind. When you have children, worrying about them becomes part of the job description. But it doesn't mean you have to create "what if" scenarios just in case. Trust that you will have the ability to deal with challenging situations if and when they arise.
The next time you find yourself in a stressful situation, stop and take a moment to think before you react. You may just realize, it's not as bad as it seems.
Here are 6 tips to help you reduce the stress in your life.
1) Resist the temptation to engage in a power struggle. When you argue back and forth with your child, they'll win every time. You have a lot more to lose then they do and they'll wear you down. Simply state your expectation, turn your back and walk away. When they see that you're no longer interested in the fight, they'll come around.
2) Pick your battles. Decide what's important in the big picture. My son wanted to wear his Crocks in the bath the other night. My first instinct was to tell him no. But I stopped myself and thought about it. Is it really that big a deal? Practice saying "yes" more often and let your children occasionally win.
3) Let go of perfectionism. I know I sound like a broken record on this one, but I still speak to many moms who suffer from this. When you decide that "the best you can" is good enough, your stress level will drop dramatically.
4) Stop being a people pleaser. This goal is as unattainable as being a perfectionist. There are too many uncontrollable variables that make this impossible to achieve. You teach people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself. So focus on making yourself happy first.
5) Let go of your past mistakes. We've all had moments in our lives we're not proud of or tend to regret. Mine came in the form of neon clothing and hair crimping in the 1980's. I would bet my left ovary that at one point in your child's life, you've said or done something in the heat of the moment that you regret. Learn from this experience. Stop holding on to the incident and berating yourself for what happened. It only creates more stress and the likelihood of repeating negative patterns.
6) Leave your worries behind. When you have children, worrying about them becomes part of the job description. But it doesn't mean you have to create "what if" scenarios just in case. Trust that you will have the ability to deal with challenging situations if and when they arise.
The next time you find yourself in a stressful situation, stop and take a moment to think before you react. You may just realize, it's not as bad as it seems.
I agree, crocs in the bathtub are no big deal. Just don't let him wear his UGGS in the bath :)
Posted by: Andrea E. | May 11, 2010 at 11:13 AM